A few handy tips to make sure you don't get kicked out before you've even had the chance to take your clothes off.
CLUB ETIQUETTE FOR ALL
1: BE HYGIENIC
A no-brainer, surely? Apparently not. There are people out there – grubby people – who step out of the house in search of indiscriminate sex without showering first.
a) fresh breath (teeth brushed, mints, mouthwash)
b) clean body (showered, deodorant)
c) being prepared (condoms, lube)
d) clean hair (styled, rubber bands to pull it back)
Remember it’s about being at your best!
2: HAVE A HIGH DISAPPOINTMENT THRESHOLD
Don't go out expecting Eyes Wide Shut, or, for that matter, anything resembling the idea you have in your head
3: LEAVE YOUR SMARTPHONE IN THE CLOAKROOM Perhaps unsurprisingly, devices with inbuilt cameras and social media apps are not at all welcome at swingers events. Photographing and then sharing a scene – even if it's one you are involved with – is not OK.
4: NO MEANS NO The final rule, but quite obviously the most important. Swingers events may be populated by people who are generous with the physical expression of their sexuality, but they are never a free-for-all. Unless you get unequivocal consent, then back off.
5: RESPECT THE CLUB RULES
Protecting our patrons is of the utmost importance. Most clubs, when visiting for the first time, will go over the club rules with you in addition to taking you on a guided tour. The club has these rules in place so everyone will feel secure and to ensure the best experience possible for those in attendance. The staff will answer questions and the attic clubs will have “host” couples (seasoned swingers) who are also available to answer any questions in addition to welcoming the “newbies.”
6: DRINK RESPONSIBLY I can’t think of a worse way to end what could have been a great evening by consuming too much alcohol. To much of a good thing can really get in the way of a successful sexual encounter. Did you know alcohol is a depressant? Did you know alcohol tends to have deleterious effects on male sexual performance? Did you know women have a higher percentage of body fat and less water in their bodies, and therefore, alcohol can have a quicker, more severe impact? Did you know women’s bodies take longer to process alcohol; more precisely, a woman’s body often takes one-third longer to eliminate the substance? If you find alcohol is starting to dominate your evenings out, why not put in place a “sober” swing night and see what happens?
7:RESPECTING THE UNSPOKEN SWINGING RULES Once you have located a couple or single you click with, at some point during the evening the conversation may shift to venturing into the playrooms. People don’t usually carry a list of their rules and guidelines and then exchange those rules with potential partners. No, usually this conversation will naturally progress once the topic of sex is broached. I find it happens pretty naturally, the simple sharing of experiences and what partners or singles like or dislike. When a rule or guideline is shared it is important to make a note of it and not cross or disrespect the rule. Swinging is about trust, and not just trusting your partner, but trusting other partners as well.
8:KEEP IT LIGHTHEARTED
Leave your drama at the door. Swinging is an escape from the everyday. That's what makes it so exciting. So don't bring up how your boss has been harping on you this week, or how your house renovations are way behind schedule. Keep it to lighthearted bedroom banter.
9:CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESSES...ALL OF THEM If you're running around naked in a sex club, the last thing you want to do is sit down in a mysterious wet spot. If you make a mess with a drink - or something else - isn't the point, clean up after yourself and leave the place better off than when you found it. Being a good guest at any party means cleaning up after yourself.
Unit 2, Osmaston Rd ,Business Park 281 Osmaston Road
At the rear of Postcode DE23 8LD