ADVICE FOR SINGLE MALES
A no-brainer, surely? Apparently not. There are people out there – grubby people – who step out of the house
in search of indiscriminate sex without showering first. "Freshening up your bits is essential,"
I can’t stress enough the importance of personal hygiene. Getting a haircut or shave doesn’t have to be a chore and can actually be an
invigorating experience. Take the time to get your hair styled and for those of you with facial hair, keeping it trimmed and managed will
double the sex appeal of an already hot commodity.
Dress to Impress:
I can’t stress this enough, a woman loves to see a man take an interest in his appearance. Taking the time to spruce up your attire can go a
long way with the ladies. We all know that surge of confidence we feel when putting our best foot forward…we tend to stand taller, make eye contact, feel more confident in our surroundings, and just feel better overall!
Confidence in your approach:
I know sometimes it seems that the balance is somewhat off when it comes to starting a conversation. It is typically up to the man to approach a woman or in the case of swinging, a couple, so the possibility for what we believe is rejection can be higher for the man, hence the reservation in starting a conversation.
Here is my advice…don’t go into the evening thinking about “scoring.” Instead, go into the evening determined to learn a handful of interesting tidbits of information about the people you come in contact with.
Remember you are a great guy with lots of great qualities, so how you carry yourself will show others that confidence.
Being an observer in the playrooms:
If you are a single man visiting a swingers club, one of the biggest no no’s is being too aggressive…especially in the playrooms. A great advantage of an on premise swingers club is the opportunity to visit the playrooms. These are designated areas within the club designed to allow intimacy between couples and others within the club.
As a single man being able to partake in these playrooms as an observer can be quite a treat. When you venture into the playrooms as an observer, please make sure to be respectful of the participants by doing just that…observing. This means don’t breach over into the participant’s space or attempt to touch anyone while they are playing.
Also, please make sure you are not hovering.
Being a participant in the playrooms:
So all the effort paid off and you are ready to put your bedroom skills to the test. Whether you are going to play with one other person,a couple, or have been asked to be involved in a group session, having respect not only for yourself, but for those participating will always make for a successful experience, no matter the outcome.
Being prepared with condoms and small packets of lube (from reception) is one way to show your respect.
Keeping the amount of alcohol you consume to a minimum, so your performance isn’t affected is yet another way.
There are many open minded couples out there that are looking for a single gentleman to join them for a night of sexual fun.
So as you can see, if you take time to get ready, you might be the guy they are looking for!
ADVICE FOR COUPLES
Allow yourself time to acclimate once in the swingers club:
This step is important! Sometimes coming into a swingers club can be a bit of sensory overload. The surprise isn’t so much about all the other couples or singles in the club, but about the reality of the atmosphere compared to what your imagination conjured up. The best part of seeing a new couple come into the club–one of them (typically the
woman) is a little apprehensive in the beginning, but as the evening progresses she relaxes and ends up having a spectacular time! This is another reason why spending the time going over what you do and don’t want to do on the first visit is so vital. Sometimes saying, “let’s just
go check it out, we don’t have to play on our first visit” is a good idea.
Expectations ruin everything.
If you've been fantasising about specific scenarios, you're bound to be disappointed. Go with the flow; no one can read your mind. A little leading is fine, but if the other guy isn't quite on the same wavelength just let it be.
Respect the swingers club’s rules:
Protecting our patrons is of the utmost importance. Our club will, when visiting for the first time, will go over the club rules with you in addition to taking you on a guided tour. The club has these rules in place so everyone will feel secure and to ensure the best experience possible for those in attendance. The staff will answer questions and
some clubs will have “host” couples (seasoned swingers) who are also available to answer any questions in addition to welcoming the“newbies.”
Setting up and respecting your own rules before entering:
Not only is visiting a swingers club new and exciting, it also offers a great line of communication between partners and internal conversation
for single people. One of the topics that should be discussed is what the comfort level is of those attending. For those of you who are single, spend some time getting to know what you are comfortable with doing (or not doing). The same goes for couples. The biggest point to remember is to honor and value the comfort level and requests made by your partner or yourself. It is also important to point out that these rules and guidelines can be fluid–what you may not feel comfortable with doing right now may change into something you decide you do like down the road. Again, it’s about communication and trust. One of the misconceptions of swinger clubs is they are these wild and crazy orgies,where no one’s boundaries are respected. That is so not the case!
Swingers actually spend quite a lot of time setting and re-evaluating rules and guidelines so everyone involved comes away with an enhancing experience
I cannot think of a worse way to end what could have been a great evening by consuming too much alcohol. To much of a good thing can really get in the way of a successful sexual encounter. Did you know alcohol is a depressant? Did you know women have a higher percentage of body fat and less water in their bodies, and therefore, alcohol can have a quicker, more severe impact? Did you know women’s bodies take longer to process alcohol; more precisely, a woman’s body often takes one-third longer to eliminate the substance? If you find alcohol is starting to dominate your evenings out, why not put in place a “sober” swing night and see what happens?
Remember,these experiences are about growing and expanding yourself sexually as well as emotionally.
Respect your partner's boundaries.
No matter how excited you are about your sexcapade together, remember that everyone involved is a human being. Let finding out what they like and
don't like be an exciting part of the process, and respect their boundaries. A hard no is a hard no. No, if's and's or but's about it.
So whatever your comfort level, remember this is
all about what you make it–so make it great!