so being conscious of your body and appearance is something you will want to pay special attention. These steps while seemingly obvious, are sometimes missed:
a) fresh breath (teeth brushed, mints, mouthwash)
b) clean body (showered, deodorant)
c) clean hair
Remember it’s about being at your best!
1) Always be polite.
2) Never assume.
3) Ask permission before touching.
4) 'No' means 'No'. Accept it gracefully. No one pleases everybody. And never think that you know more about what she wants than she does! If she or her husband says "No", then that's exactly what they mean, don't question "Why". It's not open for discussion. If they have to tell you twice, then you are no longer welcome and you will be asked to leave.
5) If you're unsure about proper procedures or what's allowed, Ask!
6) Most people in the club have a partner; include them in your conversation when appropriate.
7) Mind your manners. Be on your very best behavior.
8) Pay attention to nonverbal signals, both positive and negative. Body language speaks much louder than actual words. Act accordingly!
9) When talking to other people in the club that you are interested in, make sure you understand their personal rules and boundaries. Every one is different.
10) Admission to the club DOES NOT guarantee that you will have sex, but only that you will be admitted to the club. No one owes you anything and you shouldn't expect anything from anyone.
11) If you have a problem with someone at the club, PLEASE tell the management and let them handle it, not you. Never create or contribute to a "scene".
12) If you're new and have additional questions about the club or the lifestyle, ask to speak to one of the regular member couples. They will be happy to answer any questions you might have. It's also a great way to start a conversation!
13) Class and style will get you much further than pushiness, arrogance or macho crass behavior.
14) Be aware of how much you drink. No one is attracted to or impressed with, or wants to be around a drunk. This is a social club, NOT a drinking club.
If you follow these guidelines, you should have a great time and make lots of new sexy friends!
This step is important! Sometimes coming into a swingers club can be a bit of sensory overload. The surprise isn’t so much about all the other couples or singles in the club, but about the reality of the atmosphere compared to what your imagination conjured up. This is my favorite part of seeing a new couple come into the club–one of them (typically the woman) is a little apprehensive in the beginning, but as the evening progresses she relaxes and ends up having a spectacular time! This is another reason why spending the time going over what you do and don’t want to do on the first visit is so vital. Sometimes saying, “let’s just go check it out, we don’t have to play on our first visit” is a good idea.
The biggest point to remember is to honor and value the comfort level and requests made by your partner or yourself. It is also important to point out that these rules and guidelines can be fluid–what you may not feel comfortable with doing right now may change into something you decide you do like down the road. Again, it’s about communication and trust. One of the misconceptions of swinger clubs is they are these wild and crazy orgies, where no one’s boundaries are respected. That is so not the case! Swingers actually spend quite a lot of time setting and reevaluating rules and guidelines so everyone involved comes away with an enhancing experience.
Once you have located a couple or single you click with, at some point during the evening the conversation may shift to venturing into the playrooms. People don’t usually carry a list of their rules and guidelines and then exchange those rules with potential partners. No, usually this conversation will naturally progress once the topic of sex is broached. It happens pretty naturally, the simple sharing of experiences and what partners or singles like or dislike. When a rule or guideline is shared it is important to make a note of it and not cross or disrespect the rule. Swinging is about trust, and not just trusting your partner, but trusting other partners as well.
Remember, these experiences are about growing and expanding yourself sexually as well as emotionally. So whatever your comfort level, remember this is all about what you make it–so make it great!
Remember, secure your personal relationship first, abide by the swingers party etiquette, and slowly ease yourself into the excitement.